Sheens Want To Stay Together?

Charlie and Brooke Sheen want to stay married. According to their attorneys, the two are "very much in love" despite Mrs Sheen's accusation that Charlie threatened her with a knife.

Take Another Stab At It

Charlie and Brooke want to give it a go
Despite the recent attack.
The two are described as deeply in love,
All set to put things back on track.
Neither denies that they traded some blows
As have many more husbands and wives.
Say friends: may the couple now stay the course
And may Chuck stay away from the knives.

Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

In Flight Explosion Averted

Internet postings, believed written by the man accused of trying to blow up a Detroit-bound jetliner, suggest the suspect was lonely. The posts also indicate the man's hopes for a world-wide "jihad."


Fantasy Foiled

He said he was lonely
And felt really sad;
His warrior fantasies
Were getting quite bad.
So he got on an airplane
About to go up.
What he smuggled on with him
He hoped would blow up.
But others aboard,
Not ready to die,
Interrupted his plans
While still in the sky.
Now Mr Obama,
In response to the quirk,
Wants safety precautions
That actually work.

Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Sawyer Takes Over

The holiday season saw Diane Sawyer make her debut as ABC's Prime Time News anchor person. Ms. Sawyer joins the battle for viewers with Brian Williams on NBC and Katie Couric at CBS.




Or You Could Buy A Paper

Diane now brings us all the news
On ABC to shape our views.
But who will win? And just who's voice
Will be the network viewer's choice?
Do Diane or Katie catch your eye?
Or do you prefer to watch the guy?
If one's "credentials" make you join,
You might as well just flip a coin.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

House And Senate To Negotiate Health Care

Members of the Senate and the House will now meet to work out differences in their separate versions of health care legislation. It appears there's a bit of work to be done before they'll have one bill to deliver to President Obama.



Keep "em Covered

Both House and Senate now address
Health care for the masses.
Americans now uninsured
Are hoping something passes.

As talks get tense up on the Hill,
Negotiations daunting,
Both versions feature complex rules
That can be downright haunting.

The trick will be to hammer out
A plan to keep us healthy;
One to fight our maladies,
That's not just for the wealthy.

Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

MERRY CHRISTMAS

News In Rhyme pauses, in its cynical look at the world around us,
to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and Prosperous New Year. A good time of year to ask (somewhat cynically)......




Is That All There Is

'Twas the night after Christmas, when all 'round the tree,
Every gift was ripped open for all present to see.
Dad got his tie and Mom, her perfume;
And the kids all received more toys to consume.

The fat man in red had left for them all
Lots of goodies and playthings to have a real ball.
But what seems forgotten on this annual morn
Is the one we should honor - and why he was born.

Is it wise to all focus on the "things" we all want?
Is it suave to all end our yule meal with a grunt"?
Or might it behoove us, before the bell tolls,
To "thank the good Lord" for redeeming our souls?


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Priest: Stealing Not Always A Sin

The Reverend Tim Jones, of York, England, feels stealing is not necessarily a sin. He feels that, in the case of the poor, shoplifting is sometime acceptable. However, he says such shoplifters should do their deed at large national chain stores and not mom and pop businesses.

What Would Moses Say?

For Father Tim, "Thou Shalt not Steal"
May not apply to all.
Like if one's poor and needs some stuff,
And is walking through the mall,
Poverty may force his hand.
And if all he's got is zilch,
It's not his greed but dire need
That forces him to filch.
But cops and clergy disagree -
Say such attempts will fail.
That kind of thing's against the law.
The perp could land in jail.
And Father Tim, though tolerant
Of those who do the crime,
Has yet to say that he's prepared
To do each culprit's time.

Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Democrats Confident On Health Care Reform

President Obama and his fellow democrats on Capitol Hill are confident Obama's health care bill will pass the Senate. Then, it's more negotiating to iron out differences between the Senate and House versions of the legislation.

We've Only Just Begun

Senators
In the fight;
Arguing.
What a a sight.
Final Vote
Christmas Eve
on what health care
we receive.
Then more fighting
'tween both houses,
as we hear
what each espouses.
To some, a matter
of life and death
Awaiting health care?
Don't hold your breath.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Senate Votes "Yes" On Health Plan

President Obama's health care bill appears to be on its way to becoming law. The Senate's passage of the measure seems to assure its final passage by Christmas.


Is It What
The Doctor Ordered?

After long and hard fought sessions that sometimes got quite loud,
Obama's Senate Democrats cast a vote to make him proud.

In the end he had to compromise on Medicare and such;
But millions more Americans will now be put in touch

With coverage for what ails them, with no "pre-existing" hedge.
The vote of Sixty-Forty gave Democrats the edge.

The fight was hard and heavy; it never was quiescent;
So Obama now is waiting to sign his Christmas present.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Climate Talks End In Compromise

President Obama came up with a compromise that folks at the climate talks in Copenhagen could live with. So the leaders of 193 nations agree to a plan to help poor nations deal with climate problems. However, reports indicate that major polluters can keep emitting their greenhouse gases. One official called the compromise "a triumph of spin over substance."

Climatic Compromise

Folks meeting to clean up the air
Have a pact that they all think is fair.
It maintains permission
For pollution emission.
Leaving some in a state of despair.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Melting Ice Threatens Polar Bears

The United Nations climate talks have ended.The 193 nations have agreed to a compromise plan put forth by President Obama. Meantime, ice in the Arctic appears to be melting more and more each year. The Ice provides shelter and transportation for the Inuit people as well as seals, walrus, and arctic foxes. It also serves as hunting ground for polar bears.


(High Temperature Haiku)

Ice caps are melting,
Leaving polar bears hungry.
There's no place to fish.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Global Warming Spat Heats Up

Sarah Palin and Arnold Schwarzenegger seem to disagree on the issue of global warming. Palin accuses the governor of pushing the kinds of policies that have created deficits and unemployment in California.





Climate Clash

A bit of infighting, it seems, is about;
With Arnold and Sarah now having it out
Over whether the climate needs to be fixed;
Something conservatives always have nixed.
The governor feels such sentiments mean
One's "still in the Stone Age" when the air was still clean.
To Sarah, however, it's all blowing smoke;
And fixing the climate will leave working folks broke.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Is Iran Building The Bomb?

Officials in Washington tell of a "secret document" that suggests Iran is getting closer in its search for a way to make nuclear weapons. The White House is quoted as saying administration efforts to deal with the situation have "produced very little."




Is It Iran-ium ?

The U.S. and Europe
Feel enough is enough
With Iranian plans
For its nuclear stuff.

Its use might be peaceful,
As suggested before.
Or might that equipment
Be a prelude to war?

What has our attention,
What's disturbing the calm,
Is Iran's new-found plans
For creating "the bomb."

As the countdown goes on,
And as tensions increase,
Obama's assessing
How we can all live in peace.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

President Prods Senate On Healthcare

President Obama says his congressional allies are "on the precipice" of an historic accomplishment" as they work on his healthcare bill. Earlier, the president met with Senate Democrats and urged them to resolve any disputes blocking agreement on the legislation.



To Your Health

The president told the democrats
They gotta get off the dime.
He wants quick work on that health care bill;
And they should stop wasting time.

Resolve, he says, what's slowing you down;
Work to solve this mystery.
He needs that bill to go up in the polls
And to go down in history.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Arctic Ice Disappearing

Al Gore, meeting with officials and scientists in Copenhagen, says new computer modeling indicates the Arctic Ocean may be nearly ice-free in the summertime by 2014. The projection follows several years of dramatic retreat by polar sea ice.



The Polar Bare

The ice-melt at the North Pole
Appears to be out of control.
No ice in the summer
Could be a real bummer.
Global warming seems, now, on a roll.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

President Accepts Peace Prize

President Obama went to Oslo to accept the Nobel Peace Prize and to defend America's wars. He and the First Lady spent just 24 hours in the Nordic capital.


Fight For Peace

Barack admits he's not done much
To deserve such a prestigious prize.
He stopped by Oslo to pick it up
And say thanks to all the guys.

Negotiations, says the prez,
Just won't get the challenge done.
Sometimes, he says, ya gotta go
And do it with a gun.

He promises that he'll use the prize
To "reach for a world that ought to be."
But adds sometimes you need a war
To make peace with the enemy.

Presidential Christmas Presents

President Obama and First Lady Michelle talked to Oprah Winfrey about, among other things, Christmas giving. The President noted that he actually gives better presents than he receives.


Out Of Sorts With Santa

Obama has a bone to pick
About some Christmas presents.
And though it's not a fed'ral case,
This is it, in essence:

He loved his bike and basket ball,
He told Oprah, on her set;
Then added, for the world to hear:
"I give better than I get."

Some former givers, then, may have
A message for Barack:
"Pack up all that stuff we gave
And quickly send it back."


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Tiger Sponsor Backs Off

Gillette, a major sponsor of Tiger Woods, says it's phasing him out of its advertisements while he takes time off to repair his personal life. Gillette, a division of Procter & Gamble is seen as the first major sponsor to distance itself from Woods.


Look Sharp

Gillette has made it clear
The decision has been made
It's going to step away
From Tiger, that gay blade.
The razor maker' s choice
In this isolated instance,
Makes it the first sponsor
To give itself some distance
From the golfer, who's decided
To take a little break
To deal with all his problems,
For all his familiy's sake.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Tiger Ads Disappear

According to Nielsen's television records, advertisements featuring Tiger Woods have completely vanished from prime-time television since Woods' wreck.



Ads Up

Tiger ads have disappeared
Since Tiger dissed that tree.
And since his woman-woes made news,
There's been nary an ad to see.

Americans, adult and child,
Know Tiger Woods on sight.
They've watched him drink his Gatorade
And play golf with all his might.

He drives his balls from tee to green;
At times it's quite amusing.
He keeps his cool when things get tense,
Except for when he's losing.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon

Iraqi Security Questioned

At least 103 people have died in a series of coordinated attacks in Bagdad. The attacks included three car bombs that blew up near government sites. The bombing reinforced concerns over shortcomings in Iraqi security as U.S. forces plan their withdrawl.





Iraq Attacks


Renewed attacks by bombers
One hundred-plus are dead;
Two hundred more are wounded,
Reports from Bagdad said.

The rise of rebel power
Could be a serious blow,
As Iraqis plan elections
And our troops prepare to go.

Yes, U.S. troops must leave soon;
As soon as they possibly can.
Because, you see, they're needed
Over in Afghanistan.


Copyright 2009 by Jim Gordon

President Barack Obama has announced multibillion-dollar stimulus and jobs proposals. He says we must continue to "spend our way out of the recession" until more Americans are back at work. Among the President's proposals is a package of new spending for various infrastructure projects.



Seeking Relief

Spend more money on bridges
And highway work, as well:
Our President's idea'
To help free enterprise jell.

More spending...fewer taxes
Have opponents in a daze,
As the President seeks methods
For having things both ways.

The nation's highest-ranking military officer told soldiers and Marines at Camp LeJuene, North Carolina, that the insurgency in Afghanistan has grown in the last three years and he expects casualties to rise next year as additional U.S. troops pour into the war.

A Fight To The Death

Admiral Mike Mullen
Painted a picture quite grim
For the U.S. GIs who
Sat listening to him.

We're not winning, said Mullen,
We're losing the fray;
Thus, thousands more troops
Will be on their way.

The insurgency's growing
In Afghanistan;
Seems a lot tougher going
Than when it began.

Mullen makes it quite clear,
About the what and the when
He expects a tough fight
In two-thousand-ten.

Casualties will grow,
More Americans will die;
As some here at home
Cry out and ask "why?"

After cancelling three Adam Lambert appearances, ABC says the American Idol runner-up will perform on the network after all. He's been booked on ABC's daytime series "The View."



Another Point Of View

Although Adam was spurned
For going "over the top" -

His actions on camera
Caused a network to drop

Plans to show him perform
With his twists and his twirls,

He'll soon be on "View"
With the rest of the girls.

Tiger Woods says he's let his family down with what he calls "transgressions." He also requested that people let him and his family deal with it in private.


Playing A Round

Tiger's feeling sad,
And tells us he's been bad;
'Twould seem he's really made a mess.
He says he's quite upset
And filled with deep regret
Plus, it seems, some feelings of distress.

He isn't quite specific,
But hints at things horrific
On his website at a recent session.
It seems that Tiger's ruing
Some rather vague wrong doing
Which he refers to simply as "transgression".

Some folks find it chilling,
While others are quite willing
To understand and give the guy a pass.
Though one's talent is extreme,
And he's athletically supreme,
It doesn't mean that one has any class.

President Obama says "our security is at stake." So he's ordered 30,000 more U.S. troops into the long war in Afghanistan. That nearly triples the force Obama inherited when he took over from George Bush.

Our Security Blanket

The president is calling
On each woman and each man
To support his latest order
Of troops to Afghanistan.
Thirty thousand more must go,
Like it yes, or like it not.
The war is long and bloody,
But the only one we've got.
He wants us to support him
Says he's handing us no jive;
In eighteen months he'll bring back home
The one's that are still alive.
Seems the Afghans just can't do it;
Their efforts have all "bombed"
Some folks may get the feeling
We're being Vietnamed.

State Police in Orlando say Tiger Woods will get a careless driving citation for a car crash outside his mansion last week, but will not face criminal charges.

Driving Off Course

They got the goods
On Tiger Woods
And have issued him a ticket.

'Cause he hit a tree
With his SUV,
It's quite a sticky wicket.

They took their time,
There was no crime
But just a fender bender.

There were no breaks,
But just some aches,
Some parts are sore and tender.

Tiger denies,
As vicious lies,
Reports of marital strife.

So all who flirt
With tabloid dirt
Can now go get a life.

The head of the secret service and the couple who crashed President Obama's first state dinner have been called to testify before Congress. The congressmen want to know how the security was breached.



But Everybody Had Such A Good Time


The Secret Service is feeling some heat,
And its agents will talk when House members meet.

Congressman Thompson of Mississip
Wants more solid answers and a bit less lip.

He feels the Salahis, Tareq and Mike
Should have been told to take a hike.

He wants to know just how it was missed
That they didn't appear on the invited list.

The head of the Secret Service has said
His folks are embarrassed and his face is red.

Some lawmakers say crashing's a crime;
That the pair could be charged and maybe do time.

A good time was had - it rated a Ten.
But the word is now out : Don't do it again.


Copyright 2009 Jim Gordon