Gubernatorial Candidate Hits A Snag

Rhode Island voters have expressed dismay over Frank Caprio’s “shove it” comment after failing to fain an endorsement from President Obama. The Democratic candidate is seen as losing ground to his independent opponent.



                Pulling Back

It appears Rhode Island’s candidate
Is in a bit of trouble;
His reaction to the President
May burst his political bubble.

Since Obama withheld endorsement
And Frank said he can shove it,
The candidate is losing ground
And can’t seem to rise above it.

In an era when most candidates
Are at each other’s throats,
Rhode Island’s would-be Governor
May have lost a ton of votes.

Lashing out when one’s upset
Can be seen as less than wise.
Rhode Islanders say they may vote
For one of the other guys.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

United Nations Bugged

Bedbugs have been found in furniture at the U.N. Officials have removed the furniture to be fumigated.




   Bugging Diplomats

The word out of Gotham
Is the bedbugs are spreading.
They’re no longer confined
To such things as bedding.

Especially trained dogs
Have found them again;
This time they’ve invaded
(Would you believe) the U.N.

The reddish brown critter
Can make some folks swoon;
And officials have promised
They won’t declare it immune.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

TV Chef Pleads To Charges

Juan-Carlos Cruz has pleaded no contest to charges he tried to hire someone to kill his wife. The plea agreement means the TV chef faces up to nine years in prison.




Defense-less

He’ll be out of the kitchen
But may still feel some heat;
The chef faces charges
He won’t try to beat.

So the plea that he’s given
Was the best he could choose.
The law wants some answers
From Chef Juan-Carlos Cruz.

He’s pleaded no contest
To trying to hire
Two men who’d be paid to
Make the chef’s wife expire.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Democratic Candidate tells CIC To “Shove It”

The Democratic candidate for governor or Rhode Island has expressed anger over President Obama’s refusal to endorse him. Earlier, the White House had announced Obama would endorse no one in the race.




          Support This

Frank Caprio’s a Democrat
Who doesn’t feel forsaken
By a presidential snub
That might leave others shaken.

Obama won’t endorse him,
So he’ll try to rise above it.
The candidate has simply said
The president can “shove it.”

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Gay Community Unhappy

Gay voters across the country are threatening to withhold support of Democrats on election day. Activists claim on-going discrimination in the workplace and the military.



             Unhappy Returns

The lesbian, transgender, and the gay
Look at Democrats with what’s been called dismay.
As election day approaches close at hand,
These folks are finding pickings rather bland.

Democrats against the GOP
And the Party that identifies with Tea,
Are counting on longstanding gay support
As the party works at holding down the fort.

But gay voters all throughout the nation
Say they still feel much discrimination.
Democrats, some feel, have missed the boat;
And so some folks just may withhold their vote.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Kolb To Quarterback

The Eagles will play Tennessee Sunday with Kevin Kolb as quarterback. Coach Andy Reid won’t discuss Kolb’s role for the remainder of the season.



        Just For Kicks

Kevin likes to quarterback
And that’s where he’s going to be
As the Eagles take the field
When they battle Tennessee.

Come November Seven, though,
Will he be the Eagles’ pick?
Or will he have to go sit down
And lose out to Michael Vick?

Kevin seems quite focused, now;
His mind's locked in on playing.
Has he proved his value yet?
Coach Andy isn’t saying.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Military Gay Ruling On Hold

A federal appeals court has halted, temporarily, an earlier order to accept gays in the military. Gay rights attorneys have been advised to file their challenges by next week.




             Straight Ahead

Gay rights lawyers have been told
The ban on gays is now on hold.
A federal court grants a delay
In allowing troops who claim their gay.
The fight goes on to say 'farewell'
To the policy "don't ask don't tell.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Students March For Money

Students by the thousands marched throughout Austria to demand the government spend more money on education.



                        Marking Time

Demanding more money for Austrian schools,
Students turned out in the masses.
It appeared that more kids showed up for the march
Then ever were seen going to classes.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Freed Miners Want To Be Paid

33 miners, trapped from a mine cave-in in Chile, say they've all agreed to say nothing about their ordeal until a financial deal is made.

       

              A Miner Occurrence

For sixty-nine days they lived underground;
Seventeen days before they were found.
The world's now attuned to all thirty-three.
They've a story to tell - but it won't be for free.
It's good to be out - it really is nice;
Further details will come for a price.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Voters Dissatisfied

According to a recent poll, many people who swept Democrats onto Capitol Hill are leaning the other way.



Making Change….Again?

Voters in Two Thousand Eight
Seemed concerned about their fate.
Many of them threw their hats
In the ring with Democrats.

Many who took Obama’s side
Are, midway through, dissatisfied;
Thus some supporters seem to be
Now leaning toward the GOP.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Elway And Partner Clipped

According to a report out of Denver, NFL Hall Of Famer John Elway and a partner were cheated out of millions via a so-called Ponzi scheme. The former quarterback is said to have invested $15 million with hedge-fund manager Sean Mueller.



              Hedge Clipping

Agreed, John Elway has a problem
But this may be a good sign.
Sixty Minutes may grab Mueller
Or maybe even Date Line.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

More On Lindsay’s Rehab

      Lindsay On The Lam

Lindsay may have gotten bored
While a guest of Betty Ford;
Seems she tried to remove the yoke
In her quest for a can of coke.

She and a friend seemed quite intense;
But failed to make it over the fence.
Instead of scoring with caffein,
The ladies are back to coming clean.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Political Commercials Getting Meaner

Political opponents appear to be getting meaner as they seek voters approval.



      Casting For Votes

As election day approaches
The ads are getting mean.
They seem so down and dirty
Instead of playing clean.

Don’t bother telling voters
Why you’re the one they need,
It’s seems much more effective
To stress your foe’s misdeed.

Just show how your opponent
Is useless through and through
And you might get the people
To cast their votes for you.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Favre Apologizes

Brett Favre says he’s sorry that a report involving him has caused some distraction as the team prepared to take on the Jets. The reports claim Favre had sent so-called racy messages from his email address.

         Brett’s Regrets

Brett Favre says he’s sorry;
He’s apologized no end
For messages deemed racy
That involved a former friend.

The NFL is looking
Into what some call bad taste:
A video including
Snap shots below the waist.

He had no further comment
After expressing his regrets;
He and his fellow Vikings
Prepared to meet the Jets.



©  2010  Jim Gordon

No Increase In Social Security Benefits

Retirees will be going another year without a cost of living increase in their Social Security benefits. The official announcement is expected on Friday, affecting more than 58 Million retirees.



               InSecurity

Since inflation hasn’t risen much,
Social Security’s made it clear;
There’ll be no hike in benefits
For at least another year.

Seniors all hustle to pay their bills
And might come up a bit less blank
If they manufactured cars
Or maybe owned a bank.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Diet Pill Off The Market

Officials at Abbott Laboratories are pulling Meridia off the market in the U.S. and Canada. The diet pill, on the market for more than 10 years, is said to cause an increased chance of heart attack for people with heart disease.



          Dying To Diet?

After ten years on the market,
A diet pill is done.
Abbott folks now indicate
It’s like a loaded gun.

Though it’s meant to make one thinner
It’s getting lots of flak.
While melting all that weight off,
One could have a heart attack.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

States lose track of sex offenders

Several states lost their GPS systems, this week, which interfered with their tracking of sex offenders. A power outage kept the system down from 9 a.m. until early evening.



                   All Systems Go

Several states faced somewhat of a mess
When an outage killed all GPS
Which keeps sex offenders
From going on benders
And attacking anyone in a dress.

Officials were certainly sweating
A day that was rather upsetting;
But the system’s re-juiced
And no one was seduced;
So officialdom’s no longer fretting.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Drug Officials Fight Abuse

The Drug Enforcement Administration collected more than 120 tons of medicine. Its one-day campaign prompted people to send in their unused prescription drugs. The campaign is part of the DEA’s fight against abuse of prescription drugs.



What The Doctor Ordered

The drug enforcement folks
Launched their special Take-Back Campaign
To relieve us of needless drugs
And pour them down the drain.

The DEA invites us
To be their special guests
And send in those nasty drugs
Inside our medicine chests.

Its job is fighting crime
While staying long and loose;
Its efforts are to wipe away
Prescription drug abuse.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Movie Director Going To Jail

A U. S. District Judge has sentenced movie director John McTiernan to one year in prison. The director of “Die Hard” and “The Thomas Crown Affair” had pleaded guilty to wiretapping charges. He also admitted making false statements to the FBI.



            Next Case

The director of “Die Hard”
And a few other flicks
Has found himself stuck
In an embarrassing fix.

He admitted his guilt
And feels rather alone;
He says he lied to the feds
And tapped a friend’s phone.

The judge in the case,
Surely not of good cheer,
Says the sentence should be
Much more than a year.

 
©  2010 Jim Gordon

Survey: Safe Sex Among U.S. Teens

The  Journal of Sexual Medicine says American teens practice safer sex than some of their elders.  According to the study, the use of condoms is much higher among teens surveyed.

   Playing It Safe


He-ing and she-ing
(The essence of being)
Can make mom and dad nervous wrecks.
Now, after surveying,
Researchers are saying
The kids practice much safer sex.

More than one hundred pages
Show folks ranging in ages
From fourteen to almost five score
Opt for protection
For every erection
And practice their sex more and more.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Marchers Rally At Washington Mall

A coalition group that calls itself “One Nation” held a weekend rally in Washington in support of Democrats in congress. The march was in response to Republicans who are hoping to make big gains on Capitol Hill on election day.



             Mall Call

Some left-leaning folks
Showed up as “One Nation”
At the National Mall
For a quick celebration.

Thousands were gathered
On the Capital site
In response to an earlier
Call from “the right.”

The pro-Democrats,
On the eve of election,
Were out to keep congress
From changing direction.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Newly Found Planet May Sustain Life

Astronomers say they’ve found a planet, outside earth’s galaxy, that may sustain life. It remains to be seen just what kind of life might survive, there. And, say the scientists, the newly detected orb is 20 light years from earth.



                              Blast Off

Stargazers have found what they call a new planet
And are wondering now if earthlings can man it.

Its orbit is slow and its rotation is light;
So half’s always daytime; the other half’s, night.

It’s out of our galaxy, twenty light years from us;
Getting humans to land there could cause quite a fuss.

That it’s larger than earth and it has lots of space
For future expansion of the whole human race.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon