NASA: Doomsday not near

Officials at NASA say there’s no truth to beliefs the world will end in 2012. Many doomsday believers have predicted the end will come next Dec. 21. According to space officials, earthlings should expect nothing more on that date than the winter solstice – the longest night of the year.


           No End In Sight

Some scientists want to amend
The forecast of the world’s sudden end;
Thoughts of being destroyed
Have had some folks annoyed;
Over something they can’t comprehend.

NASA says there’s nothing to fear
So, it seems, it’s a Happy New Year.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Iraqis say goodbye

Sunni Muslims gathered by the hundreds in Bagdad to celebrate the departure of U.S. troops. Meantime, a preacher at the nearby Abu Hanifa mosque accused Washington of dividing his country. Sheik Ahmed al-Taha called on his government to demand a payback.



        Farewell To Arms?

A Muslim preacher in Bagdad
Says Americans caused a real mess
From the time they invaded his country
Right up to their recent egress.

He spoke as hundreds of Sunnis
Gathered to say their goodbyes;
Troops were on hand to keep order
But the preacher preferred to chastise.

He accused Uncle Sam of dividing
The people of his Muslim nation;
He says all Iraqis must call, now,
On America to pay compensation.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Gingrich stays on attack

Newt Gingrich has stepped up the intensity of his campaign against his two main rivals for the GOP Presidential nomination. He accuses Mitt Romney of not taking responsibility for attacks being run on his behalf. And he attacks Ron Paul’s views as being outside the mainstream of Americans. Meantime, Gingrich says he plans to remain positive in his campaign message.



       Trolling Toward the Polls

Newt Gingrich may be losing steam
As he battles Ron and Mitt;
He charges Paul’s not in the stream
And Romney just won’t fit.

But as he keeps on throwing flack,
Newt says he’s not dismissive;
And though he maintains his attack,
He insists he’s not derisive.

As Iowans await the call,
One thing’s not in dispute;
All three want the House of White
And are still in hot pursuit.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

House leaders will go along with Senate

House Republicans will give in to demands by President Obama and renew the payroll tax cuts, at least for the short term.  Speaker John Boehner expect the two houses to pass a new bill by Sunday.  The measure would also extend jobless benefits for millions of Americans.

        Second Thoughts

The House has heard the people

And know just what they crave;
Which just might be a reason
The Hill says it will cave.

They'll keep talking through the weekend,

If that's what it's going to take,
To save the worker's tax cuts
And give them all a break.

Just what might be the reason

For their sudden change in goals?
Might they be preparing
To face voters at the polls?


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tree shortage in Miami?

Last minute shoppers appear to be having trouble finding a Christmas tree.  Most tree sellers in Miami-Dade say they sold out as long ago as last week. A spokesman for the National Christmas Tree Association says that might not be a bad thing.  Rick Dungey, whose group keeps track of tree selling trends, says, "Maybe the retail lots are just getting better at knowing how many trees to order."
 
           Out On A Limb

They can do without the winter

can live without the snow;
warm weather won't diminish
Santa's ho-ho-ho.

The people on the mainland

and on each and every Key
have everything that's on their list
except a Christmas tree.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

New rules aimed at keeping pilots awake

The government says airlines must do more to make sure pilots aren't too sleepy at the controls.  Updated work rules are aimed at stressing the need for rest between flights.  They also address the dangers of traveling through time zones.

               Flying High

The FAA says for safety sake,

Pilots need to stay awake;
They need to set, as primary goals,
Not to sleep at the controls.

Lack of rest is seen as the bane

Of those who operate a plane.
So they'll have new rules with which to strive
To get all passengers home alive.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Chaz and Jennifer split

Chaz Bono and Jennifer Elia have ended their engagement.  Bono tweeted his fans to thank them for their concern and to assure them that the couple remains on good terms with mutual respect.  The two had met in 1999.  They continued to date through what was described as Bono's gender reassignment.

            In Reality, It's Over

The relationship appears completed

In the end 'twas Chaz who tweeted
To tell his fans it's not rejection;
He and Jen maintain affection.
Their time together was seen as tender
Through reassignment of his gender;
Their lives are far from being wrecked;
But they agree it's time to disconnect.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

McQueary: Believed he witnessed molestation

Penn State’s assistant football coach, Mike McQueary told a court he believes he witnessed a young boy being molested in 2002. Testifying at the trial of former Penn State officials, McQueary added that he was not explicit in his report to former coach Joe Paterno. He told the court he didn’t use a term like ‘sodomy’ when telling the coach about what he saw. Paterno was eventually fired for not calling the police. The coach is said, however, to have reported what he was told to current defendant Gary Schultz, who was in charge of campus police.



          Witless Witness?

McQueary told a different tale
When he appeared before the judge
When questioned, under oath this time,
He had a tendency to fudge.
Says he never mentioned “sodomy”
When talking to Paterno.
Could it be the coach was wronged
When thrown to the inferno?
Was removal from his situation
A case or premature ejaculation?

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Candidate Paul: Medicare not constitutional

Republican Ron Paul says, as President, he'd get the federal government out of health care.  Says Paul, there's nothing in the Constitution that allows for the government to pay folks' medical bills.  For that, he says, millions of seniors and children can look to their individual states.

          Medical Check-Up

Medicare seems to rile Ron Paul,

He sounds like he's all set to brawl.
For him no federal contribution
Is allowed ala the Constitution.
He also seems to be arrayed
To extract the Feds from Medicaid.
Folks now facing dire straits,
Might look for help among the states.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Trump Won't Lead Planned Debate

Donald Trump says he taking himself out as moderator of the planned debates for GOP candidates in Iowa.  He indicates he wants to avoid any conflict of interest in light of the possibility he may run as an Independent candidate.  In a prepared statement, Trump said he wants to leave all his options open because "we must make America great again."

          Options Open

Trump's no longer waiting

To lead candidates debating
As everyone relaxes.
'Cause The Donald, quite resplendent,
May run as "independent"
To avoid a hike in taxes.

He says he still may jump

Upon the campaign stump,
Not to be disruptive;
Trump feels there's no debate:
"We must make our country great" -
And labels democrats destructive.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Gingrich targets inflation and taxes

Newt Gingrich says if he's elected president, he'll end the Federal Reserve's involvement in creating jobs and let it focus on controlling inflation.  He also wants to eliminate the capital gains tax, a move that would grant big tax breaks to wealthy Americans.

                   Money Talks

Newt Gingrich may have hit on a nerve

In going after the Fed'ral Reserve;
And he's taking great pains
To dump Capital Gains
As he cranks up his campaign with great verve.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Democrats feeling optimistic

Democrats say they’re feeling a lot more optimistic about the president’s chances for re-election after listening to what the current crop of challengers have to offer.



       Rhetorically Speaking

Voters watch and listen in fright
While watching the Republicans fight
In their current political drama.

Some feel, while watching the scene,
Like they’re seeing a standup routine
And draw closer to Mister Obama.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Trump may bail from debate

Donald Trump says he may cancel a planned debate for the GOP presidential candidates. The meeting, planned for late December, has drawn only Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum. The other candidates have decided to pass.



               Trump Dumped?

The Donald seems rather distressed;
And maybe a little depressed;
He planned a debate
For each candidate,
But most have ignored his request.

 
© 2011  Jim Gordon

Gingrich Surprises critics

Veteran Republicans are wondering what’s made Newt Gingrich so popular among the far right. With the Iowa caucus less than a month away, the one-time House speaker is leading the polls with Mitt Romney and Ron Paul vying for second place.



                  Surging Ahead

Why’s the far right so nuts about Newt?
To some it seems less than astute.
He’s scored a big hit,
Has more fans than Mitt;
But to some it just doesn’t compute.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Trump Keeps Name Visible In Political News

Donald Trump is preparing to moderate the GOP debate slated for later in December.  Earlier, he was quoted as saying he'd consider running in 2012 as an Independent candidate.

          It's Donald; Duck!

To his friends he may seem a bit snugly

While others regard him quite smugly;
Although he's no chump,
Some see Mister Trump
And conclude that the man is butt ugly.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Recalling Pearl Harbor

It's the day to remember the bombing of Pearl Harbor and those who lost their lives on Dec. 7, 1941.  Today's the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack that drew the United States into World War II. 

                   Dropping In

On December Seventh of Forty-one,

We had one hell of a scare.
The folks beneath the Hawaiian Sun
Soon felt a nip in the air.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

What's ahead in the Eagles nest?

As the season winds down for Philadelphia football fans, many are voicing their opinions about what went wrong with their team.

         Not For The Birds?

The Eagles appear in great need

Of someone to jump in and lead
A team so appalling
That many are calling
For Lurie to dump Andy Reid.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Too high to fly? John Rich deplanes

Sources say country singer John Rich was asked to get off a Southwest Airlines flight for Nashville because he was "not fit to travel."  The singer left without incident and was booked on a later flight out or Las Vegas.

                  Grounded

It seems John was feeling no pain

As he hopped aboard the airplane;
The crew said 'goodbye,
you're not fit to fly.'
John got off without raising cane.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Cain suspends campaign

Herman Cain says he’s ending his bid for the GOP presidential nomination. He made his announcement with his wife by his side, saying he’s calling off his campaign because of continued distraction and hurt.



                     Finish Line

Mr. Cain doesn’t need all this strife;
He’s moving on with the rest of his life.
He seemed rather downcast,
Which was quite a contrast
To the smile on the face of his wife.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Did Bachmann Make a Boo-Boo?

Presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann told an audience that she agrees with the British move to pull its people out of the British embassy in Tehran. She added that, if she were president, she’d close the U.S. embassy, there, as well. As it turns out, the United States closed its embassy in Tehran in 1980 in wake of the hostage crisis.



         In The Moment

Candidates for public office,
When quoted in the news,
Make their comments to persuade,
Not only to amuse.
Thus, it’s hoped they’d make an effort,
Lest what they say proves errant,
To keep up with what’s happening
And all events deemed current.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon