Lightening Up

Here’s more news to help pass the time
But this trip it doesn’t quite rhyme


Penn State University is offering counseling to people allegedly abused by Jerry Sandusky. School officials say it can begin as soon as they figure out who those people are.

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Rod Blagojevich’s former barber says the ex-Illinois governor’s hair is dyed and will turn gray during his prison term. Prison officials ban the use of dyes so inmates can’t disguise themselves and escape. In this case, though, if Blagojevich waits long enough, he can walk out disguised as his father.

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Military leaders say after 11 years of war, they still don’t know how many deployments are too many for individual soldiers. When the Pentagon was asked how it missed the chance to follow such large numbers of combat troops, one official said, “Hell, a guy can killed over there.”

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One official offered some tell-tale signs, though. For example:

You may have had too many deployments if you ask your wife to pass the salt…at the point of a gun.

Maybe you’ve had enough for a while if you pick your kids up from school in an armored tank.

You might deserve a break from combat if you go small game hunting with a howitzer.

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The GOP race for President has rekindled interest in the Etch A Sketch. One official describes it as a symbol of how to shake things up. But Ron Paul might see it as another way to draw a crowd.

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©  2012  Jim Gordon