Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Romney and Santorum continue their battle

The two front-runners in the GOP primary race say they're satisfied with how the Michigan vote turned out.  Santorum and Romney are looking ahead to Ohio, with Gingrich eyeing Georgia and Paul heading for Alaska.  All four are focused on the 10 Super Tuesday contests.


               Dialing For Delegates

Santorum and Romney, way out in front,
Are shifting their gears in the delegate hunt;
Feeling empowered, they're off on a spree
To Virginia, Ohio, and of course, Tennessee.
And though the front-runners pick up their pace,
Gingrich and Paul say they're still in the race.
From now until summer, they'll all keep on rolling
To win over envoys for whom they are trolling.
And then there'll be one to continue the drama
As he tries, come November, to throw out Obama.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Monday, February 27, 2012

Weather brings the bugs

Insects that normally don’t appear until April are making an early appearance. Entomologists say the mild weather is attracting the pests.



        Bugging You

A winter that’s so mild
Can cause a scene so wild
As the weeks and months advance;
Things start to seem quite queer
As the vermin all appear,
Including all these beetles, wasps, and ants.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Brockovich probe 'preliminary'

Eric Brockovich says her investigation into what's causing medical problems for several people in an upstate New York town is in its preliminary stages.  Some believe a chemical spill, more than forty years ago, is to blame for the tics and outbursts among some of the village's young people.


         Prelude to a Probe

Ms. Brockovich is probing, still,
A forty year old toxic spill;
She's taking her full bag of tricks
To see what's causing all those tics.
Folks hope Ms. Brockovich can tell
If it's why the youngsters scream and yell.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Monday, February 20, 2012

Gingrich sees gasoline at $2 a gallon

Newt Gingrich, campaigning in Oklahoma, predicts $2 a gallon for gasoline if he win's the White House.  Rick Santorum, meantime, told Ohio voters to brace for $5 at the pump.  Both candidates have been talking about oil exploration in North Dakota.


        Fill 'er Up

Newt is talking gas
On his presidential stump;
Telling folks, en masse,
He'll cut prices at the pump.

Three dollars made folks sore
It's made lots of drivers blue;
As prices creep toward four,
Newt suggests he'll make it two.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Friday, February 17, 2012

Pat Buchanan: I’ve been blacklisted

MSNBC has fired commentator Pat Buchanan after a 10 year relationship.
Buchanan says he’s been blacklisted because of this book, “Suicide of a Superpower: Will America Survive to 2025?" which some critics call racist and anti-semitic. Buchanan says his book tour proves such charges are false.


            Off The Air

Buchanan’s now at liberty
The network’s through with Pat;
So says MSNBC;
That’s all there is to that.

Some blame it on his latest book,
Which critics view with fright;
They say he’s down on Jews and Blacks
And, therefore, just too white.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Black customer settles lawsuit involving racial slur

A California restaurant has settled a lawsuit filed by black businessman Mark McHenry over a credit card receipt that contained a racial slur. The Landmark Steakhouse settled for an undisclosed amount involving a receipt that listed McHenry as “McStinkyNigger” among other names. McHenry is said to have been a regular customer at the restaurant for several years.



                    McWho?

Mr. McHenry has settled his suit,
Both sides seem to confer;
The settlement’s for a steakhouse receipt
That bore an alleged racial slur.

No one is saying what the steakhouse will pay
To make it all disappear;
But if you’re real quiet and listen real close,
You may hear his attorneys’ loud cheer.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Obama meets with China’s next leader

President Obama welcomed Xi Jinping to Washington for talks about human rights and foreign crises. Vice President Biden joined the president letting Xi know both nations need to play by the same rules.



               Building Rapport

It might be seen as a political fling,
The White House welcome of Xi Jinping;
Who met with Obama
And with not that much drama,
Heard how we’d like to hear freedom ring.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Monday, February 13, 2012

President’s budget shows government growth

President Obama has announced a record $3.8 trillion budget that includes money for roads and schools; some belt-tightening for the war machine; plus higher taxes on the wealthy. Republicans accuse the president of failing to deal with deficits.



         Spending Unveiled

Obama’s budget – a record high,
May see opponents’ mouths go dry;
Three-point-eight trillion strong
The GOP thinks something’s wrong.

To take a look at what it’s for,
Despite some cuts for stuff like war,
There are other things for which it bodes,
Like money for our schools and roads.

Republicans may see a glitch
In tax increases for the rich.
Seeing all that money flowing,
Indicates the gov’ment’s growing.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Network suspends Roland Martin

CNN says commentator Roland Martin is under suspension “for the foreseeable future.” The network acted following a complaint from a gay rights group that said a remark by Martin advocated violence against gays. Martin has said his comment was made in jest and was not aimed at the gay community.


   Hanging Out

CNN has given in
And dumped a commentator;
Is he guilty of a sin?
Is he really such a hater?

The group that he made really mad
Wants Roland’s job, there, ended.
The network’s answer, then, to GLAAD
Was Roland is suspended.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

No dance card for Tebow

A spokesman for Tim Tebow says the Bronco quarterback won't be dancing with the stars anytime soon.  Patrick Smith says Tebow is concentrating on the 2012 football season.


           Not Seeing Stars

Tim won't be going to the dance,
His spokesman has revealed;
The Bronco's working to enhance
His performance on the field.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Monday, February 6, 2012

GLADD not happy

GLAAD wants CNN to fire Roland Martin.  The gay rights group says the commentator's tweets about an underwear commercial on the Super Bowl telecast was a slur against gay men.


               Setting Him Straight

It's seems that now, the folks at GLAAD
Are really, really, really MAD
At Roland Martin and CNN.

Hostilities are in the air
Over Martin's crack on underwear
Which the group says was aimed at their gay men.

He made remarks that GLAAD don't like
So it wants RM to take a hike.


©  2012  Jim Gordon

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Group calls on J. C. Penney to dump Ellen

One Million Moms, an offshoot of the American Family Association, objects to J.C. Penney’s use of Ellen DeGeneres as the chain’s new spokeswoman. The group faults the store for selecting the openly gay talk show host when most of Penney’s customers are “traditional families.” OMM is demanding the chain replace DeGeneres with someone it says is “neutral in the culture war.”



                    RebEllion

One Million Moms: J. C., see here!
We don’t want somebody queer
To represent how we spend our money;
And we don’t think it’s one bit funny.
We’re reaching out to simply say
Spare us from those folks so gay.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

New Giant player fined

New York Giant defensive end Osi Umenyiora is facing a $20,000 fine for missing a media session at the Super Bowl.  Umenyiora says he misunderstood the schedule and adds that he'll be at tomorrow's session without fail.


                    Next Question

Osi now needs to cough up twenty Gs
'Cause he forgot his date to shoot the breeze.
He'll be on hand tomorrow, you can bet;
'Cause it can get expensive to forget.


©  2012  Jim Gordon