Tiger Woods' News Conference Transcript

Various members of the news media released a transcript of the news conference Tiger Woods held before opening day at the Masters. News In Rhyme is pleased to present its version - with some minimal poetic license.


The Transcript

Craig Heatley: Any comments for us on your first practice day?
Tiger: Yeah. That great reception blew me away.

Question: How badly were you hurt? You never told us before.
Tiger: Well, I cut my lip and my neck was sore.

Question: Why didn't you talk to the cops during your journeys?
Tiger: I took the advice of my (pricey) attorneys.

Question: What's the toughest you've had to get passed?
Tiger: My core beliefs and my family harassed.

Question: As you prepared for your return, what did you anticipate?
Tiger: I thought of playing for my fans, and that made me feel great.

Question: Will engaging more with fans effect your score at all?
Tiger: When the game begins in earnest, I'll focus on the ball.

Question: What about the prescription drugs you keep?
Tiger: They're prescribed for me to help me sleep.

Question: What was all your rehab for?
Tiger: That's really personal - but I'll have more.

Question: How'd you rationalize what you now see as bad?
Tiger: That was part of the problem I had.


Question: What changed your mind to play this year?
Tiger: Practice made me want to get back in gear.

Question: How's your pursuit of Nicklaus affected by your strife?
Tiger: It's not about championships - but how you live your life.

Question: What do you want your sponsors to know?
Tiger: That I'll do my best to help them grow.


Question: What do you expect of the tournament you're in?
Tiger: I'm going on the course and I'll play to win.

Question: Are you concerned about your game on the green?
Tiger: How my layoff hurt me remains to be seen.

Question: Will you play in the Ryder Cup, or don't you know?
Tiger: I'm not on a team yet, so there's a long way to go.

Question: Do you want to play or take a bye?
Tiger: I'd like to play - if I qualify.

Question: When you start to play, what'll be on you mind?
Tiger: Having fun; it's what I hope to find.

Question: Do you feel the pressure will affect your hopes?
Tiger: Not really. Onlookers stay outside the ropes.

Craig: No more questions. I'm afraid that's that.
Tiger: Thanks, Craig...and guys...for this time to chat.

© Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon