Blagojevich jury at an impasse?

Jurors in Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial indicate they may be at an impasse. The panel sent a note to Judge James Zagel, asking for guidance on some counts.



Awaiting Judgment


Rod's jurors have sent out a note
Suggesting they're stalled in their vote.
Eleven days since they begun,
Having trouble deciding as one.
The missive has caused some confusion,
As both sides await a conclusion.
Meantime, all involved are among
Those who feel the jury is hung.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Abdominal Fat Can Be Fatal

Research on the dangers of abdominal far lead experts to say adults with the biggest waistlines face twice the risk of dying than those with slimmer stomachs. Obesity expert Dr. Samuel Klein says belly fat can be overcome by consuming fewer calories and burning off those we consume by such exercise as walking.



Waist-ing Away

The fat that causes the bulge in one's belly
Can do more than give one simply shortness of breath.
Besides moving around like a bowlful of jelly,
For older adults it can mean certain death.

But all is not lost, so be of good cheer;
There's a way to get rid of that protruding gut;
Cut down on those calories in your food and your beer
And make it a point to get up off your butt.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Pennsylvania motorist wields dirty diaper

CONNELSVILLE, Pa. – State police have charged Jessica Hollis with harassment for allegedly wiping a dirty diaper on the rear window of another motorist. According to police, Hollis and Melanie Campbell, of Hopwood, began arguing during a traffic jam.



Smear Campaign

When two drivers got caught up and traffic,
They’re disagreement became rather graphic.
One’s use of a nappy
Made the other unhappy
And was not what you’d call photographic.

One might call it a nasty retort
Of a rather embarrassing sort.
Wielding that diaper
Like a road-raging sniper,
Landed the lady in court.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Rich Corporate Leaders Enter Political Ring

One-time business leaders are using the millions of dollars they’ve earned to win political office. They’re leaving their careers in business to challenge those who’ve made a career in politics.


Cashing In

They made their mark as rich civilians;
Now they spend their many millions
To take a break from Happy Hour
To use their wealth to purchase power.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Tiger Balks At Bridgestone

Tiger Woods logged his worst score in relation to par in round three of the Bridgestone Invitational in Akron, Ohio. At 11 over par, Woods acknowledges his number one status could be lost – to Phil Mickelson.



     Stalking The Tiger

Some folks see it as bizarre -
Woods - eleven over par.
But worst of all, when said and done
Is Tiger’s loss of Number One.

It’s the worst the man has ever played
And unless he, soon, can make the grade,
He stands to lose another race,
As Mickelson fights to take first place.

Lefty’s coming on quite strong.
It appears that he can do no wrong,
Phil continues to keep striving
With steady putting and expert driving.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

First Lady Faces Criticism Over Vacation

Michelle Obama’s vacation in Spain with daughter Sasha and friends is causing some raised eyebrows. Critics are questioning the cost to the taxpayer and the perception created in tough economic times.



    The Reign In Spain

Does Michele feel our pain
While relaxing in Spain,
On the chic Costa del Sol?

Are she and her party
All partying hearty,
With some voters still on the dole?

Room rates out of sight,
About two grand a night,
Might make some officials quite queasy.

But as far as we know,
They got enough dough
For the first lady to take it quite easy.

With some of her friends,
The First Lady spends
The days in surroundings quite posh.

Is she spending her time
In the profane or sublime?
Or is it what some call panache?

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Actor Reveals How He lost 100 Pounds

John Goodman says he started on he weight-loss program when he stopped
drinking. He then eliminated sugar from his diet and began exercising.


Going A-Weigh

John found if one knocks off booze
He’ll sober up and also lose
Pounds and pounds of ugly fat.

And then, when one gets off his butt
And kicks the sedentary rut,
He sees less flab is where it’s at.

John finds his clothes a better fit
And feels much better since he quit
Feeding his face with utter glee.

He gets around much better now
Since he’s been eating much less chow,
And is half the man he used to be.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon