Tiger Woods' attorneys have stopped PETA's plans to launch a billboard advertising campaign using the golfer's likeness in their spay-and-neuter campaign. The group was reminded that it was not authorized to use Woods' likeness in their advertising. The animal rights group has turned its attention to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. They've changed the copy to read "Your dog doesn't have to go to South America to get laid."
Pet Peeves
The PETA folks sure have a handle
On how to deal with one's sex scandal.
Those folks who love your dog and horse
Would have one Tiger Woods endorse
All efforts to keep your dear pets chaste,
Ignoring, of course, the question of "taste."
Their billboard showing us Tiger's face
Is how they'd like to press the case
For their ever-popular crusade
To ensure your dogs and cats are spayed.
They can't see why the man's offended -
But their efforts now, it seems, have ended.
They've decided now they'd best abort -
Or face the Tiger, next, in court.
Mark Sanford's next in PETA's sights,
In it's campaign for our pets' rights.
It alludes to his clandestine journeys -
While waiting to hear from Mark's attorneys.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Bipartisan Healthcare Agreement Doubtful
President Barack Obama says Democrats and Republicans may be unable to agree on reforming health care. After a day of disagreement between the two sides, Obama indicated Democrats may try to pass their plan for overhauling the system without GOP support.
Healthcare Hassles
The Democrats and the GOP
Held seven hours of debate
About what to do on health reform;
With no agreement on its fate.
Each side stuck to its previous grounds,
Both insist they need a plan.
But came to the end of their day of talks,
As far apart as when they began.
The system needs an overhaul,
As seen through Democratic eyes;
Republicans say it costs too much.
It's time, it seems, for compromise.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Healthcare Hassles
The Democrats and the GOP
Held seven hours of debate
About what to do on health reform;
With no agreement on its fate.
Each side stuck to its previous grounds,
Both insist they need a plan.
But came to the end of their day of talks,
As far apart as when they began.
The system needs an overhaul,
As seen through Democratic eyes;
Republicans say it costs too much.
It's time, it seems, for compromise.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Idol Judges Ripped
Rhythm and Blues singer Patti LaBelle says some American Idol judges aren't qualified. LaBelle says self-confidence is vital and feels some of the comments the judges make to the contestants "could make you like wanna kill yourself,"
Judge For Yourself
Patti LaBelle says certain celebs
Lack the chops to be judging American Idol.
The singer feels some of the judges' remarks
Could make many a wannabe turn suicidal.
Patti says hopefuls just gotta believe
That fame can be theirs, if that's what they choose.
And so, says the Diva, keep singing your songs
And go after your dream - you've got nothing to lose.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Judge For Yourself
Patti LaBelle says certain celebs
Lack the chops to be judging American Idol.
The singer feels some of the judges' remarks
Could make many a wannabe turn suicidal.
Patti says hopefuls just gotta believe
That fame can be theirs, if that's what they choose.
And so, says the Diva, keep singing your songs
And go after your dream - you've got nothing to lose.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Layoffs Announced At Network News
Officials at ABC News say massive staff reductions will take place by the end of the year. More then 100 employees are expected to be fired.
Off The Air
The News at ABC
Will be letting people go;
Since the industry is changing
And the economy's still slow.
Things like cyberspace
Are affecting every viewer.
No need for all those News folks -
They'll do just fine with fewer.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Off The Air
The News at ABC
Will be letting people go;
Since the industry is changing
And the economy's still slow.
Things like cyberspace
Are affecting every viewer.
No need for all those News folks -
They'll do just fine with fewer.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Deployment From Iraq May Take Longer
The head of the military command in Iraq says he's prepared with
Plan B if it's necessary in our exit from the war. Gen. Ray Odierno
also said he supports gays serving openly in the military "as long as we are still able to fight our wars."
Withdrawal At A Crawl?
The top military man in Iraq
Says our troops are still facing flak;
And if locals can't stand
And take over command,
Plan B will keep things on track.
He also had something to say
About the fate of troops that are gay;
Saying they all deserve
To fight on and serve
In keeping the bad guys at bay.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Plan B if it's necessary in our exit from the war. Gen. Ray Odierno
also said he supports gays serving openly in the military "as long as we are still able to fight our wars."
Withdrawal At A Crawl?
The top military man in Iraq
Says our troops are still facing flak;
And if locals can't stand
And take over command,
Plan B will keep things on track.
He also had something to say
About the fate of troops that are gay;
Saying they all deserve
To fight on and serve
In keeping the bad guys at bay.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Monday, February 22, 2010
Teacher Layoffs Predicted
The Secretary of Education says many U.S. teachers may lose their jobs this year. Arne Duncan told the nation's Governor in Washington that local governments are looking to cut back on education in an effort to balance their budgets.
Class Dismissed
Some of your favorite teachers
May soon be getting pink slips.
Because of fewer tax dollars,
School districts are not in the chips.
Since those budgets need to be balanced,
The time's come to abrogate;
And say farewell to some of the folks
Whose jobs are to educate.
With the economy still in a tailspin,
And the job market less than inviting,
What do our Johnny's and Mary's
Need with all that reading and writing.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Class Dismissed
Some of your favorite teachers
May soon be getting pink slips.
Because of fewer tax dollars,
School districts are not in the chips.
Since those budgets need to be balanced,
The time's come to abrogate;
And say farewell to some of the folks
Whose jobs are to educate.
With the economy still in a tailspin,
And the job market less than inviting,
What do our Johnny's and Mary's
Need with all that reading and writing.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
Friday, February 19, 2010
Obama Keeps Options Open
President Obama indicates the Democratic plan for fixing health care is still an option. The president spoke as the two sides of the aisle prepare to meet in an effort to reach a compromise on the issue.
A Healthy Alternative
The President's looking for input,
From the GOP side of the aisle,
For overhauling our healthcare
With a plan that is seen as worthwhile.
The Democrats and the Republicans
Hold a summit of sorts come next week;
In an effort to reach a compromise
That will pass the taxpayers' critique.
Failure to break up the logjam,
To overcome present rejections,
Could present a dilemma for Democrats
In the upcoming off-year elections.
But if compromise isn't forthcoming,
And opponents just can't break the knot,
The President says there's the option
To pass what the Democrats got.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
A Healthy Alternative
The President's looking for input,
From the GOP side of the aisle,
For overhauling our healthcare
With a plan that is seen as worthwhile.
The Democrats and the Republicans
Hold a summit of sorts come next week;
In an effort to reach a compromise
That will pass the taxpayers' critique.
Failure to break up the logjam,
To overcome present rejections,
Could present a dilemma for Democrats
In the upcoming off-year elections.
But if compromise isn't forthcoming,
And opponents just can't break the knot,
The President says there's the option
To pass what the Democrats got.
Copyright 2010 Jim Gordon
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