Senate Votes Out “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

Washington – The Senate has repealed the law that has barred gays and lesbians from serving in the armed forces. The bill repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell” now goes to President Obama, who’s expected to sign it into law.




                     A Gay Time

The Senate decided it’s time to dispel
The rule that says ‘don’t ask and don’t tell;
And it’s seen by some folks as a red banner day
For those in the service who profess to be gay;
On the other hand, though, there’s also that faction
That feels such a change will be a distraction.
The other side says they’ve righted a wrong
And gays will be serving right where they belong.
How all will accept the change is not clear;
And it won’t be in force for close to a year.
But the vote has been cast after years of debate
And the gays will be marching from boot camp to Kuwait.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Weatherwoman Charged With False Rape Report

Heidi Jones is off the WABC-TV weather set and facing a possible term in jail. Jones says an attempted rape she had reported earlier to police never happened.



Not So Ravish - ing

The weather gal is out of work
And may not being going back.
The problem stems from her report
Of a sexual attack.

It all took place in Central Park,
As she described the caper.
She said as she was jogging through,
A man grabbed and tried to rape her.

Now, she says, it wasn’t true,
There was no rape attempt;
Her colleagues who had tried to help
Regard her with contempt.

She’s found herself without a job
And taken off to jail
For her false police report
And her fabricated tale.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Survey: Obama Far From Out

A survey shows President Obama is ahead in the numbers for re-election in 2012. He’s seen as having a comfortable lead Republicans Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin. The survey also shows most Americans like the president, personally, while they disagree with his policies.




          Still In The Game

The president’s approval scores
Are anything but great;
The economy and joblessness
Make voters quite irate.

Despite it all, he has no choice
But to take things in his stride;
And a survey shows he’s way ahead
Of threats from the other side.

His policies leave many cold;
They don’t see eye-to-eye;
But most, it seems are of one mind:
Barak’s a real nice guy.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

"Age" scrubs Gay

The word "gay" has been replaced in an upcoming episode of "Men of a Certain Age." Co-creator Mike Royce says the line has been changed to "lame."



           Happy Ending

A war of words was averted,
When sitcom scribes were alerted,
And a "G" word of fame
Was converted to "lame."
Now the language seems somewhat subverted.



©  2010  Jim Gordon

Ballerina Weighs Criticism

Ballet dancer Jennifer Ringer is taking her critic's comments in stride. Alastair MaCaulay, of the New York Times, wrote the ballerina "looked as if she'd eaten one sugarplum too many." Ms. Ringer notes she does have a more womanly figure than your average ballet dancer.



Keeping On Her Toes

In the current Nutcracker,
The lady's no slacker,
And is not upset with her critic.
He thinks she's too plump,
And though he's no chump,
Maybe he's too analytic.

'Cause Jen's quite a dancer;
For the show, an enhancer;
Though Al sees a need to lose weight.
But she's here to stay
A gift to Ballet,
And her audience calls her first rate.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Witch Quote Tops List

Former Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell has won first place in Yale University’s list of the year’s best quotes. O’Donnell, quoted as denying being a witch, tied for the lead with BP’s Tony Hayward. He was quoted as wishing his life back in the wake of the worst offshore oil spill in history.


Quotable Notables

Fred Shapiro at Yale
Tallied up all of the votes
And released his new list
Of the year’s favorite quotes.

At the top of the heap,
Because of a tie,
There’s a lady newsmaker
As well as a guy.

First, Tony Hayward,
The chief at BP
For wishing his life back
As his oil stained the sea.

And sharing the lead
At the top of the niche
Is Christine O’Donnell,
Who denied that she's a witch.

Of the folks who made news,
Among women and men,
Christine and Tony
Lead Yale Law School's top ten.




©  2010  Jim Gordon

Actor Begins Prison Sentence

Wesley Snipes reported to a federal prison in Lewis Run, Pennsylvania, to begin serving a three-year sentence. Snipes had appealed for a new trial on charges of failing to file income tax returns for about ten years.



Bar-less Bastile

The judge has ordered Wesley Snipes
To cool it, now, and rest his pipes.
He filed appeals to no avail
And now must do his gig in jail.
When you fool around with the IRS
You can find yourself in a bit of a mess.
But three years spent at Lewis Run
Can also be a bit of fun.
As opposed to others in the nation,
McKean could be a real vacation.

©  2010  Jim Gordon