Senate Candidate O’Donnell Twiddled With Witchcraft

Christine O’Donnell says she attended a satanic altar with a witch. The Delaware Republican, backed by the Tea Party, made her comments on a television show about 10 years ago. O’Donnell is also being accused of using campaign funds for her personal expenses.



Crafting A Campaign

Christine is feeling rather hale and hearty
Running for office with the new Tea Party.
Now, out of the blue, there comes a glitch:
A report that Chris said she dated a witch.
She hopes as a candidate she won’t falter
In light of her trip to a Satanic altar.
On top of all that, she’s being accused
(And those pointing the finger are less than amused)
Of creating what amounts to a fiscal perk
Because, as it happens, she’s out of work.
A citizen’s group which is known as CREW
Is asking the state to see it it’s true
That she’s running for office with nary a cent
To use contributions to pay her rent.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Team fires six-year old cheerleader

Kennedy Tesch has been removed from the team after her parents complained one of the cheers was risqué. The team met to consider the complaint and voted to remove the youngster from the team. The parents will get a refund for the price of the uniform.



A Rah-tin Break

Young Kennedy’s folks thought the cheer was rique
Something they’d rather their daughter not say.
When the team met to consider a “yea” or a “nay”
They decided it best the young lady not stay.
The others, it seems, will get ready to play;
They’ve told the young hopeful to just go away.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

The French Outlaw The Muslim Veil?

The Senate in France has approved a bill that would make the Islamic Veil illegal. If approved by the Constitutional Council, the measure would ban the use of face-covering veils on streets and other public places.



Let’s Face It

The Senate in France
Is out to derail,
If it’s given the chance,
The burga-style veil.

Some feel the new rule
Is not to debase.
They just think it’s cool
To see everyone’s face.

©  2010  Jim Gordon

Dutch police arrest a drunk US pilot

Police in Amsterdam say they pulled an American pilot from his planned flight because he was drunk. They say his blood alcohol content was recorded at just above legal limits. The man was fined and released.



Grounded

It seems that the Dutch
Don’t think very much
Of pilots who get themselves drunk.
So they made an arrest
Gave one a blood test,
Which, you guessed it, he happened to flunk.

Since they found he was tight,
They canceled his flight
And levied a rather stiff fine.
They say he won’t fly out,
And hope he might dry out,
For the sake of your safety and mine.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

New superbugs immune to drugs

Health officials say bacteria resistant to all known antibiotics have infected people in three states and are showing up around the world. The U.S. cases have been found in California, Massachusetts and Illinois.



What's Bugging You?

Health officials say we must beware
Because we have another fitness scare.
It seems we have so big a bug,
We're quite hard pressed to find a drug
To fight a threat that so exotic,
It has no fear of antibiotic.
How vital it is that each understands
How important it is to wash our hands.


©  2010  Jim Gordon

Minister Cancels Plans To Burn Quran

Florida preacher Terry Jones says he won't burn the Quran even if a mosque is built near the remains of the Twin Towers. Jones had caused a bit of an uproar from Washington to Kabul over his threat to torch the Islamic Good Book.



Priorities

The preacher has told New York's Imam
That he won't start the blaze that upset Islam.
Washington's glad to hear from the pastor
His changes in plans, averting disaster.
Obama was anxious to save the Quran
While three U.S. priz'ners remain in Iran.

 
 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Handcuffed suspect stole police car

A burglary suspect in Seattle is back in custody after stealing a patrol car. According to police, the suspect had been handcuffed in the back seat. The arresting officer had walked away for a minute.


Distressing Arrest

Police say a thief
Gave them some grief
When he chose to skedaddle
From downtown Seattle.

But his plans were derailed
And he was once again jailed
After cops got their man
Not long after he ran.

Though he didn't drive far
In the stolen cop car,
It was still quite a feat,
While cuffed in the back seat.


©  2010  Jim Gordon