O’Reilly Finds Photos Offensive

It appears that Bill O’Reilly was a bit disgusted at the photos of Justin Bieber and Kim Kardasian. The photos, in the September issue of Elle Magazine, were inspired by “The Graduate,” starring Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman.



Factored Out

O’Reilly seems a bit uptight
Over Justin and Ms. Kim;
He seems to feel it isn’t right;
It seems it’s rattled him.

We see that Bill is not a fan
Of Kim or even Justin;
In fact, it’s rather clear our man
Finds the whole thing quite disgustin’.

‘Twould appear it’s made Bill quite confused;
That it’s filled his day with strife;
Our man is surely not amused
And needs to get a life.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

More Americans believe President a Muslim

Nearly one in five Americans, or 18 percent, believe President Obama is a Muslim. The percentage of citizens who believe he’s a Christian has fallen to 34 percent. The survey, by the nonpartisan Pew Research Center, shows 43 percent say they don’t know the president’s religion.


Presidential Persuasion

His daddy hailed from Kenya,
His mom was Kansas born;
But on where Obama came from,
Americans seem torn.

Now, there’s more confusion
To which deity he prays;
There’s simply no conclusion;
Everyone seems in a daze.

Is he Christian or Islamic?
Does he believe in heaven?
And though it’s getting rather comic,
Where was he on nine-eleven.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Dr. Laura calls it quits

Talk show host Dr. Laura Schlessinger will quite her radio show at the end of the year. Her decision comes after she used the N-word several times while speaking to a black call-in listener. The doctor says she’s decided not to do radio anymore and wants to regain her First Amendment rights.


Signing Off

Doctor Laura’s had enough
Her radio show’s been getting rough.
Listeners recently threw a fit,
Or otherwise got in a snit,
When Laura took a call and then
Uttered a word that starts with “N.”
Just trying to make a point, says she;
But others seem to disagree.
She admits she came on rather strong
And adds that what she did was wrong.
So come the end of the current year,
Doctor L will disappear.
She wants her fans to be aware
She’ll keep on working off the air.
Laura wants no further fights;
Just her First Amendment rights.

©  2010  Jim Gordon

Lesbian student sues over yearbook photo

The Mississippi Copiah County School District refused to print her picture or her name after she insisted on being photographed in a tuxedo. "I guess in the back of my mind I knew that was going to happen, Sturgis said,but I did have a little hope. I cried. I put my head down and put my hand over my face."


Photo Phinish

Ms. Sturgis was determined
To dress just like a man
In the picture for her year book
And decided that she can.

But though she was insistent
And felt the fight fair game,
Her school left out her photo
And refused to print her name.

The ACLU insists, now,
She be treated like a guy;
But the schools hard-nose decision
Was enough to make her cry.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Ex-Flight Attendant Offered Reality TV

Former flight attendant Steven Slater has been offered a reality television program. It would feature people quitting their jobs in various ways. However, questions have been raised suggesting Slater’s story may be a hoax.



Get Real

Since Steve rebuked a passenger,
Nay, told him where to go,
Some TV moguls seem impressed;
They’ve offered him a show.

A hero is how some see Steve,
Some folks are even awed;
But the entire deal may go away
If he’s found to be a fraud.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Obamas enjoy the beach

President Obama treated his family to a weekend on the Gulf of Mexico.
He, the first lady, and daughter Sasha basked in the sun and even caught sight of porpoises while boating near Panama City Beach, Florida. The president took time to let residents know the federal government is still working on the problem caused by BP’s exploding oil rig.


Weekend By The Sea

The Obamas all went boating
And found the Gulf stream clean.
They spent some time a-floating
And enjoyed the Gulf coast scene.

Mom and Dad and daughter
Basked on the sandy beach,
And later swam in  water
The oil leak failed to reach.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon

Iraq Commander: U.S Troops Must Stay Another Decade

Iraqi General Babaker Shawkat Zebari says problems will start for his country if the U.S. pulls its troops out at the end of next year, as planned. Zebari says his army won’t be ready to take over until 2020.


Yankee (don’t) Go Home

Says Iraq’s Commander Zebari,
Although it might sound quite bizarre, he
Needs U.S, GIs to hang tough there
While things are so terribly rough there.

He insists that things are so tense,
For the U.S. to leave makes no sense.
Another ten years would ensure
That his country would be more secure.

More civilians are dying each day,
So Zebari would like us to stay.
He wants us to simply take root
Till his soldiers are taught how to shoot.

 
©  2010  Jim Gordon