Obama: Hike taxes on the rich

President Obama challenged Capitol Hill to deal with the nation's debt.  He insists elimination of tax breaks for the rich and the oil companies must be part of the plan.  Lawmakers are facing an Aug. 2 deadline.

            Taxing Questions

The president says do what it takes

To eliminate selected breaks
And realize it's time to ditch
Those special perks for the very rich.

He says the folks on Capitol Hill

Need to swallow that bitter pill
And keep on working, break a sweat
To find a way to deal with debt.

It would appear he's quite unbending

In efforts to cut down on our spending.
Of course, you may ask is he being so firm
To increase his shot at another term?


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wallace: I'm sorry

Chris Wallace of Fox News says he meant no disrespect when he asked presidential candidate Michele Bachman if she's a "flake."  The talk show host says he "messed up."

        All Due Respect

Ms. Bachman wasn't happy

With a question from Fox News.
She was quick to let the network
Know she's not the least amused.

The query by Chris Wallace

Would seem to take the cake;
And he's sorry that he asked her
If she's possibly a "flake".


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Botox may affect texting

Botox treatments have been found to make it difficult to text. Those receiving injections to cure excessive sweating have found Botox also causes muscle weakness.



       What’s The Sweat

Some folks have taken botox
To put an end to sweating;
To stop the inconvenience,
The worry and the fretting.

But it could cause a problem
And make some folks feel vexed;
Because it tends to weaken muscles
And makes it hard to text.

So you may well decide, then,
To simply just forget it;
And live with perspiration
Deciding not to sweat it.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Oprah: No deal for O.J. Interview

A spokesperson for Oprah Winfrey’s production company denies reports that O.J. Simpson will meet with Oprah to confess to the slayings of which he was found not guilty. A national tabloid is said to have reported that such an interview already had been agreed to.



   The Dream Team

Oprah had been hoping
That O.J. would confess
And say he was the culprit
In that double slaying mess.

According to one tabloid,
The deal had taken place;
And Simpson and Ms. Winfrey
Would soon meet face to face.

But Oprah’s folks deny it.
Be it wish or real obsession,
She’ll have to keep on dreaming
About a televised confession.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Study finds potato chips pile on pounds

Potato chips are the biggest cause of weight gain, according to the New England Journal of Medicine.  Obesity specialist Dr. F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer says it's because people tend to eat an entire bag of chips at a time.

        Chipping In

If you happen to note

You're a bit overweight,
The medical folks
Know what's causing your fate.

It's ok to enjoy
your favorite soda,
Though you might consider
setting a quota.

And everyone knows
We all tend to scream
When dessert coming up
Will feature ice cream.

From the potato chip, though,
They say, in the long run,
It's best to abstain
If you can't eat just one.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Father quits job to watch son play ball

David Roth had no vacation time available to go watch his son pitch in the College World Series in Omaha.  So he resigned his job as car salesman in  Greer, S.C. to be in the stands for the big game.

            Touching Base

David Roth just got that itch

To go and watch his offspring pitch.
And because the family's so close-knit,
Car salesman Dave just up and quit.

Son Mike and teammates won he game

David Roth was glad he came.
One more thing is still required;
Dave needs to get himself re-hired.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Supreme Court nixed mass discrimination suit

On a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court has ruled that 1.6 million cannot file a class action bias suit against Wal-Mart.  The high court says there's no proof of company-wide job bias.  However, those employees who instigated the suit are free to continue on their own.

         Courting Action

Wal-Mart's female workers

Will have to take a pass
On suing their employer
As a group, or as a class.

The nation's highest court,

In handing down their fate,
Said the workers haven't proven
That the stores discriminate.

But the ruling doesn't end it;

The plaintiffs still aren't done;
Those who raised the issue
May press on one by one.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Puerto Ricans angry over President’s campaign stop

It seems President Obama’s trip to Puerto Rico enriched his campaign coffers by $1 million but left a bad taste in the mouths of some local politicians. Local Sen. Melinda Romero says the president failed to address the island high unemployment and soaring crime rate. She plans to complain to Puerto Rican leaders, stateside, and is demanding Obama return the money he raised.



         Raising A Fuss

Some folks in Puerto Rico
Are really on a tear.
It’s all because what happened
When the president was there.

They say he raised a million
To expand his campaign chest;
Then bid a fond farewell
With their issues not addressed.

They face high unemployment
Plus a crime rate out of sight;
And now they feel Obama
Is indifferent to their plight.

Senator Melinda
Is angry with Barack;
She wants him to apologize
And give the money back.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

What’s ahead for Weiner

The future seems unclear for embattled congressman Anthony Weiner.  Meantime, New Yorkers await a special election to choose his replacement.



         Now What

Weiner thought it over
And opted to resign,
He’s thinking of his future.
Some feel he’ll do just fine.

He made a judgment error;
So where’s he go from there?
Some feel he might consider
A change of underwear.

Some wonder if his faux pas
Will cause  GOP incursions.
But scandal is bipartisan
There’s no corner on perversions.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Democrats: Romney’s “joke” not funny

Republican Mitt Romney drew criticism from Democrats when he told an audience in Florida that he, too, is unemployed. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who chairs the Democratic National Committee, says the multimillionaire’s comments indicate he’s out of touch with voters.



         Mitt’s Wit

Mitt says he was joking
About being unemployed,
And wonders why opponents
Appear to be annoyed.

Democrats aren’t laughing
And feel his “joke” as such
Shows the multimillionaire
Is simply out of touch.

Florida’s Debbie Schultz, for one,
Sees his comment as a gaffe.
She says that being out of work
Should hardly make one laugh.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Congressman sue over Libya

Lawmakers have filed suit against President Obama to stop the action against Libya until congress gets to give its approval. The bipartisan group says the president violated the Constitution when he bypassed Capitol Hill.




                             Feeling Slighted

House members have formed a small little group
Upset with being left out of the loop.
They see action in Libya a clear violation
That’s causing no end of angst and frustration.
They’re suing to keep us all out of the fray
Until the folks on the Hill get to give their OK.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Italians vote down nuclear power

Voters in Italy voted overwhelmingly to ditch nuclear energy. The vote, as a similar one in Germany, follows the disaster facing Japan.




         No Fission Allowed

Italian voters don’t want to nuke;
Their decision’s rather stark;
As they opted, with their rebuke,
Against glowing in the dark.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

President pushes jobs

President Obama is promoting the creation of jobs.  Traveling to North Carolina, Florida, and Puerto Rico, the president says he's optimistic but not complacent.   Meantime, a field of seven GOP presidential contenders are expected to hammer away at the administration's economic woes.

   The Firing Line

The president says

He's  not one to shirk
The on-going drive
To find Americans work.

His efforts increase

Midst a GOP mob,
So come Twenty-Twelve,
He still has a job.


©  Jim Gordon

Weiner won’t quit as new photos develop

Congressman Anthony Weiner says he won’t resign despite calls by colleagues. Instead , he’s asking for a leave of absence to undergo what he calls professional treatment. Meantime more sexually suggestive photos have shown up online.



                 Sticking Around

Anthony Weiner, in refusing to quit,
Says nothing has happened to make him unfit;
He’s asking permission to take a short leave
To get professional help and to win a reprieve.
Of course, he’s abashed by all this exposure
And is seeking a way to maybe find closure.
He’d like to hang on to his reputation
Without resorting to complete abdication.
It’s clear that his colleagues don’t fully agree,
After seeing more photos on the web’s TMZ.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Gingrich's advisers quit

Citing disagreement in strategy, Newt Gingrich's senior advisers have all resigned.  A spokesman says there was a fundamental disagreement on how to run Gingrich's presidential campaign.

       At Odds

Newt's campaign

Has suffered a hit,
Since his staff
Decided to quit.

First, numbers down

Among the polls;
Now, no one's on hand
At the controls.

Though quite a shock;

Some may say "stunning";
But Newt insists
He'll keep on running.

© 2011  Jim Gordon

Sarah Denies Messing Up

Sarah Palin insists she was accurate when she said Paul Revere's famous ride was intended to warn both the British and his fellow colonists. "Part of his ride,” says Palin was to warn the British …they were not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have."



Putting English On It

“I didn’t mess up,” Ms. Palin said,
About that ride of one Paul Revere.
His cry was to warn both sides, you see,
And tell those Brits to get outta here.

Sarah’s brief journey is near its end
And folks are relieved, or so it looks;
Cause historians, now, must take out their pens
And rewrite what it says in the history books.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Palin has a new twist on Revere’s Ride

Appearing at Boston’s Old North Church, Sarah Palin talked of how Paul Revere warned “the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms by ringing those bells.”



                       Paul’s Call

Listen, my children, and you shall hear
A brand new version of what Paul Revere
Did during those long-ago fateful nights
When the British troops had us all in their sights.

T’would seem that Sarah might just be re-writing
How it began: all of that blood-shed and fighting
That led to the colonies becoming quite free.
To hear how it ends, we’ll have to listen and see.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Romney not alone in bid for the White House

As Mitt Romney announced he’s in the race for President, he appeared to be joined by lots of company. Possible contenders such as Sarah Palin and Rudy Giuliani have yet to declare but have not ruled themselves out of contention.



                   A Challenging Field

It’s for love of country, Mitt Romney insists,
That he’s adding himself to the GOP lists
Of folks who, although hesitant,
Are thinking of running for President.

There’s Sarah Palin and Rudy G
Rick Perry, Chris Christie and Michele B.
There’s Tim Pawlenty and, then to boot,
Romney may be also facing Newt.

They all are out to get rid of Obama
And hope to add a bit of drama
As they all go through their political paces
And do all they can to keep straight faces.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Governor helicopters to son’s ball game

New Jersey Governor Christie is receiving some criticism for taking an officials helicopter to watch his some play high school baseball. His colleagues remain silent while some of his critics call him a hypocrite. As a former federal prosecutor, Christie has indicted politicians for misusing public funds




            Public Transportation

Governor Christie is taking some flak
For taking a chopper to his son’s game and back.
The reason the trip is causing debate
Is the chopper in question belongs to the State.
Thus the governor seems to have caused quite a fray
By using the chopper to see his son play.
His critics are loud in the resulting dispute,
Though his fellow Republicans all remain mute.
There are those for whom the whole thing just works;
They see the trip as one of his perks.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Experts warn of cancer from cell phones

A panel of scientists in Europe says use of cell phone might cause brain cancer. A spokesman for the American Cancer Society says there’s no evidence from U.S. studies that the phones are carcinogenic. He says they kill more people through auto accidents.



        Malignant Cells

Some scientists in Europe
Feel cell phones are a bane;
Some fear they have potential
To send cancer to your brain.

But U.S. science people
See a larger risk by far;
They're more deadly if you use them
While driving in your car.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon