Drug pushers catapult pot

National Guard troops video taped people using a catapult to sent marijuana across the Mexican border into Arizona. Mexican officials found the catapult but there was no sign of the smugglers.



         Passing Grass

When you've got marijuana
That you want to smuggle
'Cross the Mexican border
There's no need to struggle.

Just take all those kilos
And, believe it or not,
They'll sail between countries
On you giant sling shot.

After your launch, though,
You just might want to run;
'Cause the Mexican army
Will spoil all your fun.

 
©  2011 Jim Gordon

Illinois Supreme Court: Emanuel Can Run For Mayor

Rahm Emanuel is back on the ballot for mayor or Chicago. The Illinois high court ruled that a lower court ruling on his residency has no foundation in Illinois law.



              Back In The Race

Opponents seem to have no prayer
Of keeping Rahm from running for mayor.
Illinois' High Court, on residence,
Says there is no precedence.

While waiting for the court to speak,
Emanuel's day was hardly bleak;
While the court was ruling and explaining,
Rahm spent the day downtown campaigning.

He's glad his time spent out of state
Won't keep him off the mayoral slate.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

GOP turns to Jefferson to fight healthcare bill

Republicans in several states are citing the Jefferson doctrine to fight Obama's healthcare law. The measure says "nullification" gives states the final say in constitutional rulings.



State-ing Opposition

Republican leaders have sent out the call
To try to defeat healthcare overhaul.
Those whom Obama , it seems, has annoyed
Say Tom Jefferson's doctrine could make all void.
This could be unsettling, amidst all the raves,
'Cause ole Tommy Jefferson also had slaves.

 
©   2011  Jim Gordon

Jesse Ventura Sues Homeland Security

One-time governor Jesse Ventura has gone to court over the body scans and pat-downs at airports. He's asking a federal judge to stop such searches without warrants. The Transportation Security Administration requires travelers who decline to go through the scanners to submit to pat-downs that include checks of the inside of their thighs and buttocks.



           Get Off My A#%
The courts have heard from Jesse
Who thinks pat-downs are messy.
So he wants the TSA
To now be held at bay.
He doesn't like those scans
Or how agents use their hands.
He finds it quite abhorrent
To be searched without a warrant;
Jess says if you'd be so kind
Keep your hands off his behind.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Texting woman falls in fountain

An employee of a mall in Reading, Pa. was texting as she walked through the mall and plunged into a water fountain. Cathy Cruz Marrero was quoted as saying she wasn't injured but suffered humiliation. Meantime, she's hired an attorney.



       Textbook Case

The lady seems perplexed,
Walking as she text,
She took a sudden fall
Into a fountain at the mall.

She was neither hurt nor harassed;
But, she says, embarrassed.
And it seems her sudden gaffe
Caused folks around to laugh.

So following her journey
She called up an attorney;
Now tension may be brewing
'Cause they're contemplating suing.


©  2011 Jim Gordon

Brits: Change the laws of succession

Members of Parliament are voting on whether to change how the hear to the British throne is chosen. Current practice gives sons preference over girls. A change in the rule would give a daughter born to Prince William and Kate Middleton the right to succeed her father.



                 Crowning Around

When all has been royally said and done,
The seat on the throne has gone to the son.
But now the thought is "let's give it a whirl"
And set down the crown on the head of the girl.
Sex bias, some say, will soon be out voted
Although kings and queens have long been outmoded.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Jury looking into Edwards campaign spending

Federal investigators want to know if campaign funds were used to cover up John Edwards' extra-marital affair while he was running for the Presidential nomination in 2008. Edwards' attorney says there's no evidence that his client broke any laws.



       Re: Funding

The Feds want to know
How much John was aware
Of where the money came from
To hide his affair.

One might well expect
They'll be raising some cain
If the funds that were used
Came from his campaign.

The problem, it seems,
Is giving folks pause;
They want to find out
If he broke any laws.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wisconsin to revisit gun owners' rights

The Wisconsin Legislature is expected to vote to allow citizens of the Badger State to carry concealed weapons. Reports connect the plan to the popularity of hunting in Wisconsin.



                Carry On

Life may become a bit more fun
For Wisconson-ites who want a gun.
Soon, they all may be well healed;
With lethal weapons well concealed.

Hunters going out to stalk and shoot
Concealing weapons in a boot;
If lawmakers plans somehow slip,
Folks may bear arms strapped to their hip.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

GOP Prepares To Challenge

House Republicans plan to use their new majority to fight the Democrats over health care and government reach.




Seeking Concensus

The GOP’s increased its strength,
Prepared to go to any length
To keep Government nice and small;
(They really think that’s best for all.)
But to get results and do what’s wise,
Both sides may need to compromise.

©  2011  Jim Gordon

President Ready To Debate Republicans

President Barack Obama is back from two weeks in Hawaii and preparing for his clash with House Republicans. He’s call on the GOP to cooperate in growing the economy and helping people find jobs.




         Back At The Office

The president’s back at his desk
Facing a GOP caucus;
Folks fear it may be a mess
But hope it’s not going to be raucous.

Both sides prepare to debate,
Something they say they won’t shirk.
While the unemployed hope that their fate
Is that soon they'll be all back at work..

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

House GOP On The Attack

The new Republican majority in the House of Representatives pledges to vote, next week, to repeal the president’s health care plan. The GOP, which has no plan of its own, yet, is quoted as saying there’s no time to lose.



                       House Call

House Republicans say they’re all set
And are quite clear with their latest threat;
They’ll do all they can
To destroy the health plan;
But it’s far from a done deal as yet.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Words Delegated to be Deleted

Lake Superior State University has released its annual “banished words” list. The list includes words deemed overused and abused and deserving of what it calls the linguistic trash can.



                  Word-Less

Wordsmiths out in Lake Superior
Found some words they deem inferior;
Though some may see it as word bashing
The college feels these words need trashing.

Words like “viral”, “epic”, “fail”
Should be taken off the scale.
“Wow factor”, “a-ha moment”, and “back story”,
Are others that they’d send to glory.

They’d also like to give the hook
To verbs like “google” and “facebook.”
The words are seen as quite abused;
And without a doubt they’re overused.

Fourteen in all are on the list
The experts feel should not exist.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon